Resources for Couples Therapists

The main resource I have to offer couple therapists is the model of therapy contained in the book, Emotional Safety. This new model attempts to capture the dimension that all successful couple therapies have in common—their capacity to create an emotionally safe setting and to teach couples to do this for themselves. The model is founded in the affect theory developed by Silvan S. Tomkins and the attachment theory developed by John Bowlby. The book draws heavily on Donald Nathanson’s insights about shame, Susan Johnson’s insights about attachment, and John Gottman’s research on satisfied versus dissatisfied couples. The emotional safety model is compatible with most existing approaches to couple therapy, yet can also stand on its own.

Emotional Safety: Viewing Couples Through the Lens of Affect (Routledge, 2007).

Working with couples is one of the most challenging areas of psychotherapy, whether they are caught in a cycle of conflict or distancing or both. Problems occur in relationships when the partners no longer feel safe being open and vulnerable with each other. Research has revealed that the content of their disagreements is less important than the affective tone of those interactions. The emotional safety model is based on modern affect theory and focuses on the affective tone of messages in the areas of attachment and esteem. The model enables therapists to recognize and articulate the emotional subtext of their clients’ interactions. Therapists can then address the subtle interplay of perceived threat and emotional reaction which underlies their clients’ difficulties and disrupts emotional safety.

“Emotional Safety is a truly brilliant work, brilliant in its clarity, its accessibility and its compassion. Any therapist who wants to better understand how to help relationships heal should read Don Catherall’s book. It’s one of the best I’ve come across in years.”
--Alan S. Gurman, Ph.D. Emeritus Professor of Psychology,
               Univeristy of Wisconsin Medical School

The book is in bookstores, or it can be obtained online through:

Modern affect theory provides the foundation for this approach. If you are
interested in learning more about affect theory, follow this link:

Modern Affect Theory